AWW 16.01.2008 Benagil Outback

Thanks to the scant literary exertions of Paul and Ian S, I now have to contribute a supplementary description of last week's walk. As it happened, during the stroll,Richard - having seen me taking a few candid camera shots - postulated that I was even then dreaming up pithy captions to go with them on the blog. I gave him a categoric assurance that the selection of photographs and composition of captions for the blog was entirely the prerogative of Chief Blogger Paul and that I would have nothing to do with the process.

"and to think we came here to get away from these dratted paparazzi! "

And then, blow me but what happens? I get the following email from the aforesaid CBP:-
"Hi John, I would hate you to get rusty, so would you like to supplement the Leader's report (when we get it!) for this week's blog?....I could send you the best of our photos, and (a likely excuse. Ed.) also I want to write a monograph about the processionary caterpillars we saw as a value-added enhancement!"

And the same day, CBP emails Ian S. to this effect: "Ian, I have funked writing the blog (that's nearer the truth. Ed.) on your walk yesterday, as scarcely anything went wrong! I couldn't bear to write about your luck in (a) avoiding even the slightest drop of rain, when all the indications were clearly for a torrential downpour (Uh?) , and (b) actually finding an open bar at the end in this deserted summer venue! ("Never in doubt!" shouted Ian S. as he arrived first at the bar again.) John, the DCB, has kindly offered to sing your praises or otherwise, so I would be grateful if you would send your detailed analytical notes to him. He has promised to be very gentle with you and I wouldn't have it any other way. You are reminded that anything you write may be given in evidence and may be twisted, distorted and used in any way that may malign or misrepresent your intentions. "

You may well ask "why all this preamble?" but it is very necessary padding to the actual report of a Leader whose mantra, when he is not walking or supping ale, is obviously LESS IS MORE. Here then is the report, in its entirety, set in large caps to make it look more than it is.(Talk about supplementation).

Quote - LEADER IAN S. WALKERS, JOHN, VITOR, DINA, MIKE, LINDSEY, ANDREW, TINA, ANTJE, ALEX, PAUL, MYRIAM, IAN W., PETER, JANET, BRIAN,SUE, RICHARD. DOGS NANDI, BRONTES (sic), TIGGY, MADDY.
TIME, CAN'T REMEMBER. DISTANCE,12KS APPROX. AN UNEVENTFUL STROLL FROM BENAGIL TO SENHORA DA ROCHA AND BACK. GREAT SEA VIEWS, ONE OR TWO "INTERESTING" MINI ASCENTS/DESCENTS, NO CASUALTIES; ALL VERY UNDEMANDING,WHAT A CHANGE. Unquote.

And that was it; 62 words!!!!!

Re the dogs, Peter keeps us all guessing as to which particular denizen of his Canine Pantheon will be with him week by week; this week it was SIBYL, not Brontes per report, nor yet Beeroe. (If I've got the spellings wrong, Peter, please correct me.) And we were all sorry to hear that Oscar has been retired from walks by order of his doctor. Oscar was an exemplary canine guide, always solicitous of Mike's progress or otherwise, and with the prudent characteristic of frequently surveying the way ahead from nearby vantage points, a trait that some of his human leaders could usefully copy.

Not a trig point in sight

The route map

Well, the full statistics for the walk, courtesy of CBP's technical gadgetting, are:-

Total distance: 12.2km. (Good guess, Ian.) ; Total Time: 3 hrs 51 min; Moving Time: 3 hrs 10 min.; Overall Average: 3.1 km/hr; Moving Average 3.8 km/hr. (Does anybody really get this stuff? Ed.) Total Ascent: 342m.; Max. Elevation: 48 metres. Tilley Count: 4; Gaiter Count: 1 pair.

That pair of gaiters

How else to supplement such a concise report? Well, I scarcely had my mind on photography all walk having, just before it started, been given a caution for illegal parking by a mock-sadistic Special Constable (acting, unpaid), and I was anticipating to get a huge fine on my return; but no fine, maybe next time.

But here are a few more pictures, captions and minimal comments.

The Gavotte contenders, Strictly Come Dancing

Francis Urquhart couldn't possibly comment (pic copyright Myriam)

Two bemused tourists stumble across a secretive Grupo Folclorico

Lunch on the benches at Albandeira gave a pleasant break for most, but Ian S's body language as he hovered around, disapprovingly watching us eat, would have done Basil Fawlty proud.

Our convivial host.

No need to go to extremes, Paul.

Back at Benagil, the bar was open ("Never in doubt!") but, being in off-season mode, wasn't best prepared for such a large turn-out of post-walk drinkers, despite the non-participation of four early leavers. Most of the chairs were in store on the roof, so the group was rather dispersed. CBP spent his refreshment time gloomily pondering on missed free lunches, past and to come; whilst the girls eagerly showed off their new gear acquired over Christmas.

Ian as a helicopter and traffic lights (caption copyright CBP)

Antje's new socks (aren't those gaiters effective?),

Alex's new thingummyjig,

....... and Janet's new Prada

CB's Comment and Contribution:and DCB's subsequent apologia:

Let me first express outrage on Brian's behalf for being written out of the leader's regrettably economical account of the proceedings. Being a Tilley Wearer as evidenced by the first pic in John's piece, I find it hard to understand how he was missed. OK so the Leader didn't spend too much time counting his flock, but even Myriam, who is often unaware of these things, recalled that there were 18 present!

Secondly a matter of quite serious note - global warming has apparently not gone unnoticed by the Processionary Caterpillars, who seem to advance to the pre-pupatory stage earlier each year. This was a photo of a nest in a comparatively low pine which clearly shows them in an advanced state of caterpillarhood!

Let's go boys!!

In fact a very high percentage of the pines along this walk were infested, and though we didn't see any on the ground, the effects their urticating hairs can have on dogs or even humans who touch them are not to be taken lightly. They are reputed to excrete a smell which can attract dogs, and should a dog eat one or two it may result in a painful death.

Should you want to read more on the subject, it is covered most comprehensively here

The Leader does a recce (unlike ours!!)

And in order to let me have the last word on rain - hopefully for this season, I address this to leaders past and future:


"When subjected to the rain of criticism, let's not curse the rain. Let's accept it as a part of life. Let's remember that the more criticism we can successfully handle, the more zest we will experience in our lives."

and to paraphrase a quote from Edmund
Waller:-

"Vexed walkers cursed the rain, for which poor gardeners prayed in vain."

DCB adds"The inadvertent omission of Brian from the Leader's report was entirely my transcription error. Brian's name was indeed in the original email to me."

and there is Brian's upturned Tilley on the bar table to prove he completed the walk. Did anybody drop a coin in it? Perhaps I should, to make up for the error. JH