AWW 31.10.2007 - Halloween- it ended in tears!

A rarity these days, David, with the able assistance of Terry A. had surveyed an all-new route from his haven of domestic bliss in Covões to Alportel, a lateral walk. This required extra organisation in that some cars had to be left at the destination to enable our return to base. A few last minute subscribers contributed to the stress, and Andrew and Lindsey were co-opted to rendezvous with David at Alportel (I did say Alportel didn't I?) and leave their car there. Somehow, Alportel lost (or gained) a little in the translation and became São Bras de Alportel. The rest you can guess, but no harm done it just meant that Dinah had a little more time to entertain the punctual walkers with coffee and biscuits - come to think of it, I missed out on the biscuits!

The Coven Gathered!

There were rather a lot of cars at the start, which placed a strain on David's parking area, not least because the house next door is being built, and builders trucks were coming and going. Rather than park next to the site, and risk dust on his immaculately maintained Renault, one walker looked for an alternate park in a niche just down the road. Of which Horror story more later!!

The Lateral Track followed - click to enlarge.

David's Ghoulish Report follows:-

Covões to Alportel by Broomstick (We Wish)- A Halloween Tale

Chief Wizard: David

Witches and Warlocks:- in order of confirmation

Ian S, Rod, Paul, Myriam, Sylvia, Mike, Brian, John O’N, Chris, Antje, Lindsey, Andrew, Dina, Vitor, Ruby (visitor)

Familiars:- Tiggy, Maddy.

The coven gathered at Casa Benjamin and partook of the black blood of life before departing 20 minutes late due to the tardy arrival of the broomsticks. (They hadn’t got used to the new autumn schedules).

Chief warlock of the day DL led the party on an easy descent followed by a cruelly early climb to the only trig point of the day, at Passarinhos, above Mesquita. All the magic in the world could not remove the scrub from around it, so the customary photo was abandoned in favour of a rapid descent to Mesquita, across the main road and into the no-man’s land above the Fonte de Benémola gorge. The hunter’s path discovered by DL and Terry was a real hit with the party, enabling the ritual shedding of blood to begin in good time.

What happens to a Tilley when an (All) Black Wizard casts a spell!

Despite one or two slight errors in route-finding, no doubt due to white witch interference, all went well as the fiendishly talkative band wound its way across the valley towards Monte Negro. One ancient member seemed terribly anxious to climb the said mountain to recover some long-forgotten spell he had left there, but was dissuaded by the rest who had no stomach for the climb. At one point it seemed that a new familiar had been discovered, but it turned out to be a tin donkey decked with flowers and only suitable for YET MORE PHOTOS.

Tin Donkey shyly hides behind Mike

Calls for lunch went unheeded as the C.W. wished to press on to the highest point of the walk, over the watershed between Corte Garcia and the valley leading down towards Alportel. Further ritual bleeding took place as an attempt to find a route up a (nearly) dry river bed ended in a scramble for the track, which had been there all the time.

Look!! No hands and only one leg!

John O' fighting an imaginary bull along the river bed!

As the long valley track unwound, kilometre after kilometre, with no sign of any gradient to speak of, it began to be whispered that perhaps the C.W. had been bewitched by greater powers, that perhaps his taste for the steep and stony had been extinguished by The Spirits That Protect They That Tramp – But NO!! With one bound he was free, and led the hapless straggling crew up a steep earthen path, ending in a huge step up which each had to be dragged by despairing comrades (who writes this terrible garbage?)

The ever gallant Mike helping our youngest lady!!!.....


...while David and Andrew need to 'double team' to help Antje clear the step!!

After inspecting an imposing ruin at the top of this hill and finding it disappointingly empty of bats, toads and black cats, progress was made by narrow paths towards Alportel and the Nectar of Oblivion. Witch Myriam cast a spell on a defenceless peasant woman, compelling her to part with a sprig of a plant with which to carry out dark and dangerous ceremonies. – watch it with that trowel, Myriam.

Alportel Botanical Society discussing fertilisers!

Finally, happy witches and warlocks both sat down at Café Vitoria (get it right, David) to await the arrival of the multi-seater broomsticks which would whisk them back to their respective caves. Even the tinkling of the church bells failed to disturb their pleasure – and the landlady gave us peanuts too!

A shady café with a spacious terrace

On returning to Casa Benjamin, it appeared that Warlock Ian had displeased a Great and Mighty Evil One by parking his MS Broomstick across the former’s runway. Prayers of appeasement were said by Witch Myriam after other brethren had been threatened with horrible curses, and ritual offerings will be made to ensure the return of harmony.

You would not believe the time I spent writing this trash – over to you, Warlock Paul.

The Creative Muse certainly visited David, as his above report hit my inbox at about 2300 hrs on Wednesday night! However, the stress and strain of the Incident of the Invisible Gate (henceforward known as "IanGate" had clearly preoccupied him as he made a couple of minor omissions in the story of the walk.

First the Crossing of the Fonte Menalva near Fonte Benemola. Someone had thoughtfully provided high designer-concrete cast stepping stones over the river which was at least 40 cm deep in places! We all know the problems that witches and warlocks have when crossing water - but these paled compared to some of our present coven!

One 'witch' skipped lightly across the 'High Road'...

...while a senior wizard was almost a blur!....

.....but a Leprechaun opted for the 'low road' and a refreshing footbath!

The other was the lunch break - an often controversial issue of timing and length, which our Chief Wizard deemed unworthy of record. A shady spot was eventually found - a little tardy for some who had been on the road since 0730 to this far-flung walkers paradise. Rod was pretty relaxed about it -

..striking a nonchalant pose for trainee paparazzi Andrew.

A convenient bank made it easier for some to get up after lunch!

The introduction, by Vitor and Dina of an attractive young Australian lady, Ruby, who was 'Gap-Yearing' round Europe, was a cause of much posturing and chest puffing by some more ambitious (or perhaps deluded) male Wednesday Walkers (whose wives were not on hand to impose reality on the situation):-

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Click on pic for special effects!

but she was a polite young lady, and kept her opinions to herself, accepting gallant offers of assistance over every tiny obstacle, when she was in a better position to help the helper! Anyway, we think she enjoyed the walk, and her vocabulary is no doubt richer, as is her acquaintance with Algarve expatriate affairs!

Towards the end of the walk, we approached Cerro de Alportel where this magnificently purple Bougainvillea was overhanging the fence, and I couldn't resist a photo:-

A 'Purple Patch' to complement the 'Purple prose'!

IanGate:

As mentioned at the beginning of the blog, and no 'D'-notice having been received at Blog HQ, Ian S., no stranger to controversy, had arrived early at David's gaff, and either for reasons of his own, or to protect his car from building debris. decided to park just along the narrow road in what appeared to his early morning eyesight to be an appropriate lay-by backed by a white painted wall. Unfortunately neither David nor Dinah were on hand to witness this very accurate piece of parking, which, we discovered on our return at around 3 pm, to be neatly across the sole entrance to the neighbour's property. By 3 pm this poor maligned gentleman was in a state of apoplexy!. "I am the Chief Architect of the Loulé Câmara" he expostulated and I have lost two major opportunities to extract Euros from grateful builders" he raved, handfuls of hair raining from his head. This did not seem to impress Ian S., whom we know has been insulted by far better people than a minor Câmara official, but muttered threats were made about bulldozing the offending vehicle away, and calling on his cronies in the GNR, so Myriam was summoned to mediate. However he was presently inconsolable, huge portions of his manhood having been seemingly cut away by his inability to drive out through his gates that morning. A friendly builder who had been forced to make the journey to Covões to pay homage, as the architect could not get to the meeting, did see the funny side, and (well out of earshot of the suffering victim) opined that "Isto passa!" I did think of asking Myriam to remind him about Mohammed and The Mountain, but decided that as I would have to cover the incident journalistically, it would be better to maintain a strict neutrality. I was unable to find a Paparazzi bold enough to snap the invisible gate with the foaming prisoner behind it at the time (if only John H. had been here!), so have to rely on spy photos taken by US satellite after the event.

This space looks free!!!

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"It is a short walk from the hallelujah to the hoot." Nabokov, Vladimir